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Aah... home again.
I kick back and relax,
long day at the office you see...
With my coffee in hand, book on lap.
"Kerplop", what was that?!

A bit annoyed I get up off the couch,
move over to the table,
What the--  
I see my bag on the floor, funny,
but bags don't fall just like that.

Pick it up, and toss it on my bed, walk to couch,
"CRASH!" , "ok now this is getting annoying"
I say to myself, as I walk over to the table to see,
OH DEAR my coffee!
"What in the world is happening to me?"

I set the book on the table, get a mop from the closet,
A Kerplunk... greets me as I walk back, mop in hand,
what do I see, my book on the floor swimming in coffee!

"Oh the calamity, oh the annoyance!"
I yell to no one in particular.
Pick up book, swish the mop, clean the mess.

I get back to the couch, lost in thought,
"SWISH!"
I look up to see,
OH NOOO!, There goes my new cup,
"CRASH!!"
... and there went my coffee...
Truly this is a trying day for me.




© 2009   A. Rivera
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconangelofgod87:

Author's Comments

... ok this is from *RalfMaximus's Prompt of the Day.
I hope I did an Ok job at this, its my first.

Prompt of the Day #63
"Playful(?) spirits moving things around your home when you're not looking."

Comments


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:iconjamberry-song:
I'd like to see you exaggerate the rhythm even more in this (like a limerick, or like Lewis Carroll, you know?). I'd also like to see you give us some hints at what's causing it (a ghost or bad luck or a family curse or something; doesn't have to be real). ;) The playful language here is really nice and so is the imagery and onomatopoeia. Nice! :D

--
dA is for the literary arts, too.
:icontheseventhseal004:
I think that you did a good job on this poem. I enjoyed the language and the imagery. There are not many problems with it, I just think that the rhythm is a little bit off. That's it, great job on this.
:iconangelofgod87:
Thank you very much!
Could you please tell me exactly where the rhythm is off
so that I can fix it?

TTFN
Me
:)

--
--
"I learned a long time ago that one note can go a long way if it's the right one, and it will probably whip the guy with 20 notes." ~ Les Paul
--
1 Timothy 4: 12
:iconangelofgod87:
Thank you. I confess that I'm not sure how to transform
this piece into a Lewis-an type poem. As to what's causing
all this, I always had a sprite in mind, some little soul that
I somehow pissed off and who is now making me go crazy.

TTFN
Me
:)

--
--
"I learned a long time ago that one note can go a long way if it's the right one, and it will probably whip the guy with 20 notes." ~ Les Paul
--
1 Timothy 4: 12
:iconralfmaximus:
It's sweet and fun. I knew from the moment I started reading what had inspired it (hee!) but I agree with jamberry... a hint of what's causing it would wrap things up nicely.

Thanks for writing this. :)

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May 30
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